please, I want someone to answer the comments in my essay draft (uploaded)

please, I want someone to answer the comments in my essay draft (uploaded)

1) Please, answer all the questions and comments left on my essay. 2) Check grammar mistakes (verb tenses, SV agreement and etc.) 3) Check if my thesis is solid enough or you can develop it and check if i have a good topic sentence in the body paragraphs. 4) see if my conclusion is good by answering the how and so what question. i uploaded the two files that you need, but please don’t add citation or references. and add sentences where you think its necessary THANKS A LOT!

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